i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
