I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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