What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize