my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm passing your future prison.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
