Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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