Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
