He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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