I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
