They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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