Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
