Sry I called you an 8
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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