I wanna passion pit in your ass
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize