I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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