He asked to "fluff my boner.."
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
