YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
