My sheets look like a crime scene.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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