bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
