i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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