You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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