hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
