he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
