Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
