nut hugger
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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