My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
