I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
