So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
