Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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