fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Couch. On fire.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
