I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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