I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
