I looked at my own cervix.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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