she was so not down for the gang bang
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
