I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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