It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
NoShamevember. You game?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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