who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
