hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
