not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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