If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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