Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
