So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
