Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
