Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
