I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
