I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
