so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize