he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
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