STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
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Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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