I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
