Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
