guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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