Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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