i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
