Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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