she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
