I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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