i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sorry about my life...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
