so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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