White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
