God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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