I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize