your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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