I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
