I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
