Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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