Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
