Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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