I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize